On "must drink coffee"

Sheree Nielsen | "Coffee Date" | Bright-Eyed Brew, Ocean Springs, MS

In my last post, I mentioned deal breakers. These are individual relationship preferences that determine a person’s unwants (i.e., non-negotiable traits) that can help guide them to a more compatible match.

In relationships, when reflecting on what’s gone right or wrong, one can learn to make better decisions later—whether they're still browsing profiles, before agreeing to go on a date, or when the time comes to decide whether or not to let go.

There are serious deal-breakers and also not-so-serious ones, but even the quirky ones can have a rather serious impact. For example, I have this theory I would struggle to form a sustainable relationship with someone who did not drink coffee.

That’s right. I have found several patterns and behaviors over a long period of time to be negatively associated with the lack of the morning ritual I enjoy immensely.

When men I dated didn’t drink coffee, I found they often…

-Drank caffeinated soda (pop) first thing in the morning instead.

-Slept in late or took long and frequent naps.

-Worked odd hours that didn’t jibe with my circadian rhythm.

-Had a different addiction worse than a caffeine addiction.

For my correlation of 'no coffee equals no for dating', I can only chalk up individual experience and a few anecdotes as evidence on my behalf. However, I believe those must count for something.

What's one of your deal breakers?

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Coffee Date

Stealing glances…

Those ice-blue

eyes.

You lift

the cup

to pouty

full

lips.

Slow,

deliberate

sips.

Caramel foam compliments

your ginger

moustache.

Getting

to know you.

- Sheree Nielsen, author of Coffee Coma: Poems & photos about our love affair & life with coffee  

(Shanti Arts Publishing, 2021)

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Everyone is different, but a certain level of sameness or like-mindedness is reassuring.

For me, this is especially true when it involves waking up with someone who shares my morning routine.

My S.O. drinks coffee. He prepares our pot of joe in the morning with enough for him (most of the pot) and plenty for my daily portion. He likes his black but will add just the right amount of cream to make mine "dirty", just how I like. There’s a level of attentiveness from him that I didn't remember receiving with other men I'd dated, thus making what we have significant.

There's a solid collaboration now, heightened conversational value, and a keen respect for each other during specific periods: BC (before coffee), and AC (after coffee). Like our personalities, coffee has flavor profiles, add-ins, and is can be tolerated warm or cold. (Though we both prefer it on the warm side.)

As I took to my theory before I met him, whenever someone asked to meet me over a drink, I made a point to suggest the brews be poured slowly and at a local coffee shop.

Because if there was no coffee, I no longer saw the point.

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Sheree K. Nielsen is an award-winning author, poet and photographer living in Missouri. Sheree believes that every picture tells a story, so she combines her love of photography and writing with colorful visual descriptions and healing messages found in essays, poems and children’s books.

Sheree's latest book, Coffee Coma: Poems & photos about our love affair & life with coffee  

(Shanti Arts Publishing, 2021) is out now! Click here to learn more.

Check out Sheree's Warm Fuzzies blog anytime, or visit her on social media:

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